How Do I Say No?
For a lot of people, saying no is a really hard thing to do, just a two-letter word can give people so much anxiety. You may love to make others happy or are a natural-born helper which are not unhealthy attributes by themselves. However, when you mix in never saying no, overworking yourself, and compromising your mental health, it turns toxic. Women, more than men tend to feel more guilty when saying no but that does not mean men cannot be affected by this mindset. Depending on your place of work saying no may be looked down on. Of course, we want to be a team player and help in ways when we can but we also need to keep our health top priority. Say yes when you can and say no when you have to.
Saying no, shows you honor your time.
Saying no shows you care about yourself.
Saying no is a beautiful thing.
Matthew 5:37 says, “All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
What Jesus is saying in the above verse is that we do not need to lie in order to explain ourselves. If something needs to be affirmed we say, yes and if something needs to be denied we say no. The “evil one” may tempt us to say things beyond our means so we are encouraged to keep our speech simple. People with few words are sometimes taken as uneducated when at times, should be taken as wise. If you need to say no do not over-explain why, you can be honest but should not have to defend yourself.
Some may be in a situation where they have felt the responsibility to see their commitment through. I believe commitments should be honored HOWEVER if that commitment has turned, toxic, abusive, or is stealing your mental health then it is biblical to leave. So many people go through life in a horrible relationship or a detrimental work environment because they feel a sense of commitment. They compromise their joy, their health, and even time with family for a place or person that is tearing them apart. Abuse is not only physical but verbal, emotional, sexual, and mental. Often times abuse is associated with relationships, but places of work can be abusive as well. Your relationship may not be romantic it could be a family member or a friend and it may be time to set boundaries. We should all be searching for biblical love wherever we go especially a place you’ll be spending 40+hours a week in. I understand not everyone can work in a Christian environment, and please know Christian institutions can be damaging as well. There is no perfect place to work but if you find where you are at is pulling you away from God and who he wants you to be, no position is worth that.
What is Biblical love? 1 Corthinians 13 is usually the wedding passage but it is describing a goldy love in all areas of life not just your marriage.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Do you see that kind of love around you? Leaving is a lot easier said than done, it may take time and you need to pray. Pray to God for wisdom to know what your next steps should be. Pray to know when and how to say no and for the right next opportunities to come your way. If you find it is time to go, then go with grace and integrity. Perhaps in your leaving you can show what it means to have a biblical love.
